By Club Legends’ Digital Content Creator and Chief Sports Writer – Tony Clark
According to one no-nonsense grassroots coach, that’s exactly what’s happening – and it’s more common than you think.
To RIP THE LID off this contentious topic, we spoke to the mysterious Coach X! He or she isn’t just any coach – they’ve spent over two decades in the trenches of grassroots football, coaching everyone from wide-eyed six-year-olds to grumpy, greasy teenagers. They know the score – and they’re not afraid to speak their mind.
Coach X is here to offer an insider’s take on the tricky balance between development, game time, and parental pressure.
Brace yourselves, football parents – this might make you rethink what’s best for your little Messi or tiny Ella Toone!
(To avoid getting a brick through their window, the coach would rather remain anonymous.)
“The modern approach to coaching,” says Coach X, “like the stuff you see all over social media, is all about equal game time – above everything else, including results.”
“And that’s absolutely right for the youngest kids,” Coach X continues. “But here’s the thing – as they get older, if a player isn’t as developed as their teammates, they’re going to see less of the ball and get less involved in the game.”
That might sound obvious, but here’s the kicker:
“If your kid is constantly playing with technically stronger players, they’re actually missing out on key development opportunities. In a so-called ‘weaker’ side, they’d get more touches, more involvement, and develop faster. It’s all about finding the right level.”
According to Coach X, yes. Yes, they are.
“Mams and Dads often push their kids into teams that are way too advanced for their current ability.
I get it. Parents want to see their kids in the ‘best’ teams, thinking that’s where they’ll improve the most,” says Coach X. “But the truth is, those environments can be really intimidating and overwhelming – and in some cases, it just kills their love for the game stone dead.
“It’s like taking a kid who’s struggling with maths and chucking them straight into top set. Here you go, Jimmy — I know you can’t get your head around your times tables, so have fun figuring out pi with these lads… Or something like that. I’m not a maths guy.”
Instead of chasing status, Coach X recommends finding a team where your child feels comfortable, involved, and encouraged to take risks.
“A lot of parents get tunnel vision,” says Coach X. “They refuse to recognise their child’s current ability level. They want their kid to be the next Phil Foden — but pushing too hard, too soon can backfire badly.”
So how does Coach X handle this pressure? “In my club, we’ve got what I call an A, B, C, and D team setup. There’s no stigma – it’s just about playing at the right level for your development.”
Kids move up and down the teams as they improve, giving every player a clear pathway to progress. “It’s about finding that sweet spot where they can be challenged without feeling overwhelmed. You want a little bit of pressure, yeah, but never too much.”
Ignoring this advice can have lasting consequences. “When parents push their kids into teams above their level, you end up with kids sat on the bench most weeks,” Coach X warns.
“Those kids aren’t developing because they’re barely playing – and when they do get on the pitch, they’re less involved because they’re out of their depth. Worse still, the stronger players might not pass to them, whether consciously or not.”
This creates a snowball effect: “Less game time, less confidence, and more frustration – all because their parents are pushing them into the wrong environment.”
“To some parents, the coach is the bad guy for not playing their kid enough,” Coach X admits.
“But what they don’t realise is that coaches also need to manage the whole team. If a coach keeps weaker players in the squad to keep parents happy, their stronger players may end up leaving for better opportunities elsewhere.”
“In the long run, forcing kids into teams a bit above their level hampers the development of the genuinely talented players too. It’s a tricky thing to balance.”
So, what’s the answer? Have you faced this dilemma as a parent or coach? Share your thoughts – we want to hear your stories!
Have your say in the comments below – or BETTER STILL, on our Facebook. 👇
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